The Cage Tranformation

So another Easter has come and gone. What did I learn?


SPOILER ALERT: You may not like what I’m getting ready to say because it’s not the typical Easter flowery.

In all honesty, I would have rather spent the entire day lying in the hammock by the water’s edge, listening to the children play and the adult chatter.

My morning included: my husband getting up early to head to church for the first service. Then I got up and tried to wrangle the kids- even though the showers were taken the night before, the clothes ironed and ready to put on, it was still rather like organizing a small event. So how do I look my “Easter” best, have all my children looking their “Easter” best and get to church on time to take care of all the things that I am responsible for? My family couldn’t go to church together… between our work responsibilities and the kids and the hoopla… UGH! It was a chaotic and busy morning.

I was overcome with the feeling that Jesus was beckoning me to come outside. I really felt as if I was staying too long in the tomb. Does that make sense? Yet Jesus stood outside his tomb, calling me to come out and live a little! He wanted me to feel the wind in my hair, the sun on my face, the refreshing cool water on my feet… he wanted to sit with me. He wanted to talk, but I was too busy. He wanted to be with me. Crazy, huh?

It’s so odd, but I really think I’m going through a “crisis” of sorts. I don’t want to buy a sports car or a motorcycle (well, kinda, but not really.) You know what I want more than anything? I want Jesus. I want to learn more and more and more about his love and his life. I want to be more like him. I want to show his kind of love to the world. Where does this burning desire come from? It comes from a deep disappointment in something I used to trust.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings  comes to mind. Ever read it? Oh, please do…

The free bird leaps

on the back of the wind

and floats downstream

till the current ends

and dips his wings

in the orange sun rays

and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks

down his narrow cage

can seldom see through

his bars of rage

his wings are clipped and

his feet are tied

so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings

with fearful trill

of the things unknown

but longed for still

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill

for the caged bird

sings of freedom

The free bird thinks of another breeze

and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees

and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn

and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams

his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream

his wings are clipped and his feet are tied

so he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings

with a fearful trill

of things unknown

but longed for still

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill

for the caged bird

sings of freedom.

~Maya Angelou

With clipped wings and tied feet, we can be trapped by legalism, condemnation and censure. We can be held captive by the archaic and antiquated. We can quickly forget the message of freedom for the lost, the hurting, and the dying. There are those who only know loss, pain, and death and there is no Good Samaritan to be found. The robotic are full of pharisaical proclamations and man-made law.

(When I say “Pharisee”, I mean a person who is consumed with the law and ritual. I feel as though they knew the law, but they didn’t understand what life was all about.)

I’m tired. Tired of a broken system, tired of the lack of love, the lack of respect and acceptance, and I’m tired of the condemnation.

Jesus loves me. Yes, even me. Should you decide on the path of a pharisaical hypocrite, you will lose your ability to love me. But what about Jesus? He not only knows the “law”, but he teaches practical life application. Face it, he IS the law. What I am most drawn to is that he does not condemn me; he has forgiven me and loves me. He asks that I follow him and love God first. He also requires me to love others. Period. It is a message of true, pure, unconditional love and it is for all people. Pretty clear message.

He is hope, he is restoration, and he is life. Jesus IS the definition of love.

I have to re-learn and re-focus. There are those who listen and watch me. What am I teaching them? Am I leading them right back into captivity or am I pointing them to freedom?

So even if I find myself to be a caged bird with clipped wings and tied feet, I can sing of freedom and pray that the melody will carry the message of freedom to all who stand on the distant hill.

What song will you sing?

Alone in the Waiting

Her cries could be heard echoing throughout the house, out the door, across the lawn, down and around the corner.


Alone. She was alone.

Brand new baby girl, all alone.

She cried. She screamed. Pleading with the world- someone hold me, someone love me…

Alone. She was alone.

Brand new baby girl, all alone.

In her newest days, there were no celebrations, no welcoming committee.

The familiar voices, the familiar sounds, her one constant companion was gone.

Alone. She was alone.

Brand new baby girl, all alone.

With her eyes opened wide, blurred visions- empty, focus she could not.

Her new hands and fingers touching the cloth within her reach- cold

The air was cold.

Alone. She was alone.

Brand new baby girl, all alone.

The unanswered cries stopped

Abruptly ended—no one was there to hear

There she lay all alone. Unable to move.

Alone. She was alone.

Brand new baby girl, all alone.

She couldn’t have known; how could she have known?

She was so fresh, so new.

Alone. She was alone.

Brand new baby girl, all alone.

Alone she slept. Alone she watched. Alone she dreamt. Alone she smiled. Alone she waited.

Alone she cried her silent cries.

Brand new baby girl, all alone.


© 2010 Melissa Meador Wilson

Friday’s Musings…

Here’s to your vigorous and healthy growth. Grow well, friend.

Philippians 1:12-30: In my devotions this morning, the Word opened to me was from Paul’s letter to the Philippians.

Background: We’re looking at around 61-63 A.D. The city of Philippi was said to be a major city of Macedonia. This city was located on the road from Rome to Asia. At this time, it is believed that Paul was in prison in Rome. He wrote to the church in Philippi, the Philippians, to tell communicate a couple of different things including comfort. “Yea, I’m in prison. Don’t worry about me. God’s in control”.

Paul, who used to be Saul, was a messenger/disciple/follower of Jesus who used to be a Pharisee. This dude knew the Jewish law backwards and forwards. He was a Roman citizen. Actually, Paul- when he was Saul- was a persecutor of those who followed Jesus.

All of that changed for Saul one day on a road headed toward Damascus. Saul literally had a “come to Jesus” meeting. After his encounter with God, Saul was not only physically changed (blind for a bit before being healed by Ananias), but his name changed to Paul. Acts 9:1-31 After this change, Paul devoted his life to serving God and telling others about God.

Paul tirelessly spread the Good News, especially focused on the Gentiles and his work really laid the foundation for Christianity and the church today.

“Philippians 1:12-30: They Can’t Imprison the Message”

Summary: Paul is arrested and sent to prison. In these verses particularly, Paul is telling the church in Philippi that he’s happy as a clam to be in prison. What? Okay, not as a clam, but he is talking an awful lot about J-O-Y. Admittedly, there are times where I really think Paul is completely off his rocker. Old boy is talking about being a prisoner in a jail and he’s happy. And get this: the reason he’s happy is because while in jail, he has the opportunity to tell the other inmates about Jesus. The inmates are interested in his story. They want to hear how he got there and why. And since the old boy is so happy, they really want to know why he’s happy to be up in the jailhouse.

Prior to landing in the slammer, Paul had been strongly opposed and met with many critics-- he brings Greeks in the temple, he talks to the Gentiles, he talks about Jesus—basically there are peeps who really don’t like the dude. But he doesn’t care. He keeps sharing the message of hope and the truly life changing news of Jesus with everyone. And get this little tidbit: some of his worst opposition came from fellow preachers and teachers—guys with a similar vocation as him.

• Guys who were jealous that the crowds listened to Paul

• Guys that were intimidated by his conviction

• Guys didn’t like where he stood when he delivered the word of God

Insane, huh? Weren’t they supposed to be on the same team?

Regardless, Paul kept going, rooted in Jesus, with faith planted in joy. As long as Jesus was being talked about, as long as His name was being shared- Paul didn’t care how it happened. And if old boy being in prison led someone to a life changing experience with Jesus, he was all about being in prison. For some reason, when I think about Paul, I picture a mix between the John the Baptist character in Jesus of Nazareth and Santa Claus. I know, that's odd. He seems like he could be tormented at one moment, but jolly at the next. Either way, I’m pretty sure he just loved talking about Jesus. This is life changing stuff here, folks, life changing.

Ideas for Practical Application:

1. Find joy, even when you feel like you’ve been imprisoned

2. Dead or alive, if we have a relationship with Jesus- we’re on the winner’s podium

3. So your personal naysayers have their motives, their greed and their competitive nature- SO WHAT! What they meant for harm, God meant for good.

4. Live a life where it is evident that “Jesus Lives Here”

5. Work together- don’t go it alone. Go to jail together, all the while, telling everyone you meet about the guy that changed your life the day you met him!

Search it. Consume it. Apply it.

If you seek God, you will find him.

Philippians 1:12-30 (The Message)

They Can't Imprison the Message

12-14I want to report to you, friends, that my imprisonment here has had the opposite of its intended effect. Instead of being squelched, the Message has actually prospered. All the soldiers here, and everyone else, too, found out that I'm in jail because of this Messiah. That piqued their curiosity, and now they've learned all about him. Not only that, but most of the followers of Jesus here have become far more sure of themselves in the faith than ever, speaking out fearlessly about God, about the Messiah.

15-17It's true that some here preach Christ because with me out of the way, they think they'll step right into the spotlight. But the others do it with the best heart in the world. One group is motivated by pure love, knowing that I am here defending the Message, wanting to help. The others, now that I'm out of the picture, are merely greedy, hoping to get something out of it for themselves. Their motives are bad. They see me as their competition, and so the worse it goes for me, the better—they think—for them.

18-21So how am I to respond? I've decided that I really don't care about their motives, whether mixed, bad, or indifferent. Every time one of them opens his mouth, Christ is proclaimed, so I just cheer them on!

And I'm going to keep that celebration going because I know how it's going to turn out. Through your faithful prayers and the generous response of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, everything he wants to do in and through me will be done. I can hardly wait to continue on my course. I don't expect to be embarrassed in the least. On the contrary, everything happening to me in this jail only serves to make Christ more accurately known, regardless of whether I live or die. They didn't shut me up; they gave me a pulpit! Alive, I'm Christ's messenger; dead, I'm his bounty. Life versus even more life! I can't lose.

22-26As long as I'm alive in this body, there is good work for me to do. If I had to choose right now, I hardly know which I'd choose. Hard choice! The desire to break camp here and be with Christ is powerful. Some days I can think of nothing better. But most days, because of what you are going through, I am sure that it's better for me to stick it out here. So I plan to be around awhile, companion to you as your growth and joy in this life of trusting God continues. You can start looking forward to a great reunion when I come visit you again. We'll be praising Christ, enjoying each other.

27-30Meanwhile, live in such a way that you are a credit to the Message of Christ. Let nothing in your conduct hang on whether I come or not. Your conduct must be the same whether I show up to see things for myself or hear of it from a distance. Stand united, singular in vision, contending for people's trust in the Message, the good news, not flinching or dodging in the slightest before the opposition. Your courage and unity will show them what they're up against: defeat for them, victory for you—and both because of God. There's far more to this life than trusting in Christ. There's also suffering for him. And the suffering is as much a gift as the trusting. You're involved in the same kind of struggle you saw me go through, on which you are now getting an updated report in this letter.

I Would If I Could but I Can’t So I Won’t

Dear Friend:

I hope when you read this, you will know this is for you. This is a message from Jesus. No, he doesn't need me to tell you anything, but he does use me to encourage your faith. I hope your heart is wide open, your ears are clear, and your mind focused on Him.

I know things have been difficult lately. You carry a heavy load some day with many thought and fears. You can allow yourself to be anxious at times. You shed tears on occasion beneath the weight of all you carry. I'm so sorry your load is heavy today. And on top of it, it's raining on you.

Well listen, you've got a friend in me. I'm always going to be here for you. When the rain drops fall one by one and you feel all alone, I'm willing to walk in the rain with you. I'll try to remember an umbrella. I know you want to hide; the pain is overwhelming, but you're alone when you hide. No, I can't stop the rain- I would if I could, but I can't, so I won't. But I have hugs to give, with lots of love to offer.

You didn't do anything to deserve this. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. The rain falls on all of us. The storms come along and we are all victim to the dark clouds and torrential down pours. It's a fact of life! But know this: you are dearly loved. You are a precious child of an almighty King. He loves you and adores you. He doesn't like to see the rain fall on you. In fact, he's sad when you're sad.

Listen, I can't make the rain stop. I don't even have an umbrella big enough to really shelter you, but I will be with you. I will stand beside you through the storm, until the rain stops. I promise. I believe in you. I love you. I know that this storm, this rain, is nothing. You've got this.

Don't give up.

Don't hide.

When the rain comes, He's there beside you. He's way better than me, but I'll be there beside you too.


I love you, friend.
~Melissa


When the Rain Comes
by THIRD DAY

Letting Go

T.D. Jakes   (with my thoughts in italics)



There are people who can walk away from you.      You don't say.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.    But isn't that cruel?

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.  But maybe it's my fault, maybe I made them walk away.  Maybe I can fix it!

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]  So if they were really connected to us, they wouldn't have considered walking away?  I don't get it.

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.  But what if it's not really dead?  What if I walk away and by walking away, I kill it?

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something- I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.  Oh but that goes against everything I was taught to believe!

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...LET IT GO!!!   How do I know if it was never intended for me?

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains…LET IT GO!!!  I try, believe me I try, but somehow they wind up jumping in my path over and over.

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET IT GO!!!   But what if it's really my fault?  Maybe I didn't love them the right way?  Maybe I'm not worth it?

If someone has angered you…LET IT GO!!!   But what if I deserve their anger?

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...LET IT GO!!!   Those thoughts are fleeting.

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents…LET IT GO!!!  But what about my kids?  How will I feed them? Or clothe them?  They need a home and food and shelter... they need sane, healthy parents.  Why do I deserve to have my needs met?  Will anyone really benefit from my talents?  Maybe I don't have talents?

If you have a bad attitude...LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...LET IT GO!!!If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him...LET IT GO!!!


If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship…LET IT GO!!!  I'd love for the relationships to heal, but doesn't that take both sides in the relationship to seek healing?  Why do I walk away from that?


If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves…LET IT GO!!!  But I thought we should never give up trying?


If you're feeling depressed and stressed…LET IT GO!!!  Can't I just take medication for that?


If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to…LET IT GO!!! 


'The Battle is the Lord's!'


----------------------------------------------------

I think the concept of Letting Go quite possibly goes against what I have been taught. Now, I have been taught to let go of "sin, hurt, pain, bitterness, anger, etc". But I've never been taught that I should let go of people who walk away.


Throughout my lifetime, I've had some experience in more ways than one with people who have walked away. They just decide they don't love me, they don't like me, they don't need me and they walk away. The hardest part about some of that “walking away” business is that some of those folks led me to believe that it's entirely my fault they chose to walk away. And I do recognize that in some of the situations, the Deceiver led me to that belief.

I guess I’m learning a difficult lesson today. It could be that God wants me to let them walk. He wants me to say “it was fun while it lasted” or “thanks for the memories”. He could be saying this chapter is closing and it’s time to begin the next chapter and IT’S OKAY TO LET GO!


I desperately want to understand this concept. In the meantime…


Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut,

Doesn't have a swelled head,

Doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn't revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

~1 Corinthians 13

Where Does Hope Live?

An interesting thing happened the other day. It has been a very long time since I heard the phrase "you are valuable" from a colleague or mentor. Just the other day, someone told me that I am valuable and that I have a lot to offer. My little heart skipped a great big beat. There were no tears- I couldn't let them free at the time.


Wow! It's been so long since I heard that and even longer since I believed it. Who? Me? Not me. Surely you're not talking about me. See, somehow, I've found myself in a place where I have felt as if I have no value.


Why? Well, I figure there are a couple things going on here.


1.) Somewhere along the line, I've been tricked into believing the wrong voices. I've allowed myself to become distracted by humans. The human voices- the imperfect human shouts loudly. The imperfect human has a lot to say, but very little substance. But I listen. And you know what, some of the things those voices say just aren't good. The voices shout lies and I listen. BOO!



2.) Somewhere along the line, I allowed myself to forgot the fact that God loves me, period. He just loves me. The great big almighty creator loves me. What? (I think this makes sense due to the fact I've been so distracted by humans. Especially human who claim to be Christians, but their words and actions don't align.)



So I find Jesus leading me back to what I know to be the truth. He grabs me by the hand, and turns me around. He makes me look right in his eyes.


"I will not let you forget, Melissa. You know the truth and you've got to listen."


God sends Jesus to take me back to the same place. Over and over, he walks me back. He never gets irate with me. Annoyed possibly, but never angry.


He has his way of taking me back to the first time we met.


It was 1995 on a warm summer evening following a youth service at camp. I sat on a white cinder block wall, with a pastor, a friend. My pastor friend was telling me about Jesus. This wasn't my first rodeo. I was raised in the church, I had been to church over and over... sat through hundred of services, lessons, camps, and on and on. I was 17 for goodness sakes! I'd heard it all before. But on that particular night, I heard something different. I heard Jesus telling me he loves me. I heard him telling me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I heard him telling me that he had searched me and that he knew me. He even told me he knew me BEFORE I was born. He knew me when I was knit together in my mother’s womb. I mean, Jesus knew me. Everything about me. Everything I tried to hide-- the sin, the hurts, the scars, the wounds, the pain, the happiness, the silliness-- He knew it. And he loved me- big mess and all. That was the night I made the decision to give my life to Jesus. He met me on a cinder block wall in Nowheresville. He spoke through my pastor and friend. He got my attention.



He kept telling me over and over again how much he loved me. I kept saying "but what about this and what about that?"  He wouldn't hear it.  He didn't care about all the junk. He just needed me to know that he loved me for me. He always had and he always will.


My friend Jesus takes me back to 1995 just when I need it the most. He sits me on the cinder block wall -- he takes me back so I can remember what he has done in my life. So I can remember the journey—what led me to the cinder block wall and what led me to where I am today.



You know what he did this time? Oh Jesus is such an amazing friend! This time, he sat me beside my pastor and friend. The one from 1995. Jesus took me to a place where I could hear that familiar voice. Jesus not only took me back to remind me what he brought me from, he allowed me the chance to hear; literally hear with my ears Him speaking through my friend once again.


You may think that you can't hear God. You may think I'm crazy. But I promise you I have heard him. I have heard him and I know His voice. Now don’t misunderstand and you should know that I don't always listen to him. Sadly, I get distracted by human voices.


Jesus picked me up and carried me back to the place where he changed my life. As much as I’d like to, I can't stay there. I can't set up camp there and dwell forever. I have to journey back, so that I am able to journey forward. He has so beautifully reminded me of what he brought me from-- how he saved me. How he took all the ugliness and yuck and made it beautiful.


I'm nothing. I'm so small and insignificant. I don't know why the God of the universe values me, but he does. And he values you. God loves you, friend. He's always known you AND he has always loved you AND he will forever love you.


So if you're looking for hope, I can tell you where to find it.  Hope lives in my heart, in your heart, and in the hearts of those who follow Jesus.  Jesus is hope.  If you've lost your hope, you might want to talk to Jesus.  He can help you find it.



And to my pastor friend... thank you for taking me to Jesus. It's a beautiful thing to see how God works! He decided our paths should cross at exactly the time I needed it the most. You've shown me Jesus again, after all these years. Thank for keeping hope alive in so many ways.

Forget Me Not

It's a Good Thing to Hope for Help from God

19-21I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,

the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.

I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—

the feeling of hitting the bottom.

But there's one other thing I remember,

and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,

his merciful love couldn't have dried up.

They're created new every morning.

How great your faithfulness!

I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).

He's all I've got left.

25-27God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,

to the woman who diligently seeks.

It's a good thing to quietly hope,

quietly hope for help from God.

It's a good thing when you're young

to stick it out through the hard times.

Lamentations 3:21-25 (The Message)

I probably won't forget the poison I've swallowed, the feeling of being so lost, or the feeling of hitting the bottom. From a vantage point of the casual life observer, you won't see that. From the vantage point of the consistent life helper, you know. You know all about my Life Provider.



There are times in our lives when coming to the end of ourselves, hitting the bottom and not seeing how we could ever rise again, is exactly where we need to be. Low in the depths, the Life Provider breathes air into our lungs, strength to our bones, and washes over us the peace that sustains our movement.



I won't forget the hope that I have held so tightly to for so long now. My hands ache from holding with such veracity. I'm not complaining-- it's a good hurt. My hope is in NO human. My strength is from no human. In fact, there is no human who can give me what I need to live. Humans give supplements, but not sustenance.



He’s all I’ve got and I’ll wholeheartedly choose Him over everything else. I’m at home in His radiant love and this is exactly where I want to be.

Never Understand, Always Overstand

WORK IN PROGRESS... I'm still chewing on the thoughts that follow:

The other day, I was playing with words in my head.  A thought ran through my brain- the opposite of understand could be overstand.   Because in my head, if you’re not under, you’re over, right?  Well, not really… but stick with me for a minute.

What about this play on words placed within in human actions?  We know what “understand” means, so what could “overstand” mean?

When I started really chewing on this, I got kind of mad.  This is what came out first:

So when you overstander’s take your stand, you very literally plant your heels into concrete.  You say with firmness that you know with certainty that the rest of the world knows nothing.  You and your overstanding literally stand over the issue, breathing down its neck with condemnation and curl your nose at the pungent stench of those who aren’t fit to wipe your concrete fitted feet.  You overstand as if to teach your lesson, or remind the world of how great you are and small it is.  You overstand with your puffed up regurgitated “knowledge”.  You overstand when you fail to see your presence and your force and your arrogance cause others to fall down. You who overstand often overstand Jesus. 

Let me tell you something you who overstand who have buried yourselves in concrete,  once it sets, you cannot remove your feet.  And if, by chance, someone knocks you over—you better hope you aren’t standing firm beside a deep pool of water.  Your overstanding will drown you, friend, and who will rescue you?  If you’ve took your stand over Jesus, will he rescue you?  Will you beg forgiveness as you slip to the bottom of the pool or will you until your last breath, insist you are right?

So that was brutal.   In fact, I can almost guarantee that someone reading this just got really mad.  Calm yourself, friend.  Let me continue to chew on this thought.

The next thought that came to mind was the saying “you can’t see the forest for the trees”.  I’ve never used that phrase before, but I’ve heard it often.  What does that me in Melissa’s World?  Simply put, I suppose it means some people attach themselves to small, possibly insignificant details therefore hindering them from seeing the big picture.  Are we capable of seeing the entire big picture?  That I don’t know.  I figure we’re human and our minds are pretty limited.  However, some of us ascribe to the existence of a big picture and we do not ascribe to the fact that we know everything.

When you look at it this way, there is a big difference between understanding and overstanding.    When we attempt to understand, we (me, myself, and I) take a back seat.   We open our minds, our hearts, our lives to see life as something more that our possession.  By journeying towards an understanding, we gain knowledge, perspective, and wisdom.  And in gaining those things, we gain life.  With humility, we process the information or the situation that has presented itself.  We don’t go getting all puffed up and incensed about whatever is before us.  We work towards understanding—becoming small enough to stand under whatever “it” is.

There is a time and a place to take a stand.  There may be instances where we need to take on a form of overstanding.  There are issues that are worth digging our heels in and fighting for.  But our responses to those issues should be well thought out and your knowledge should be factually based. 

What are you dealing with today?  Are you understanding or overstanding?    You could be at risk of being pushed into a situation where you will drown yourself because you got too big for your britches.    (I LOVE that saying, btw!)    Maybe it’s time to chill and take a step back.  Maybe it’s time to understand--  

Appreciate

Know

Recognize

Comprehend

Realize

Be aware of

Value

Identify with

Empathize

WOWSER!  I’ve done less understanding and more overstanding in my life.  Time to make some changes!  I want to live free—I refuse to be a prisoner to overstanding!  

Whatcha Got There?

"There is nothing that wastes the body like worry,

and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever."

~Mahatma Gandhi

Crawling out of the bed in the mornings is just an overwhelming and dreadful task for me. There is nothing in the world I hate more than getting out of a warm, cozy bed. Lately, I've been setting my alarm 10 minutes earlier than I really need to get up. That way, I am able to hit the snooze a few times and "feel" like I've slept a bit longer. It doesn't work and nothing makes me feel better about getting out of bed!

I noticed something very bothersome the other morning. There, between my eyebrows, were two red lines; one on the right side and one on the left side. "What in the world?" I thought to myself. Perhaps I just slept funny—head buried under the blankets or something bizarre. The next morning, the same red lines appeared. "Okay, I must really sleep weird!" But you know what… dadburnit if those stupid lines didn't show up every day!!!!!! WHAT THE HAY?

It didn't take me long to figure out "how" the lines got there. You know how when you're confused, or deep in thought, or squinting your eyes, you wrinkle your brow? Well, maybe you don't, but I sure do. Apparently, I've been deep in thought-- processing something or as angry as can be about something--while I sleep. Those stupid, horrific, ugly lines are right where my brow crinkles! Could these be worry lines?

worry line Function: noun : a crease or wrinkle on the forehead or between the eyebrows

OH MY WORD!  I have the forehead wrinkle, too!

Please don't misunderstand me. I don't really care that I have wrinkles on my face. My BIGGER concern is why they are there. You know, the Word clearly states: Who by worrying can add a single moment to his day? (Where is that? Matthew, Mark, Luke…?) Maybe it should  "Who that worries shall add a single moment to their day, but you will add face wrinkles.  Anyway, if you're a believer (a Jesus follower): you A.) need to recognize the Word. B.) Acknowledge the truth and C.) apply it to life.

I was really captured by Gandhi's statement. .. "one who has ANY faith in God should be ASHAMED to worry…"

YIKES!

What do you worry about? What captures your thoughts when you are still? 

Melissa's brain:

Will the kids be okay? Are the dressed warm enough? What if something happens when I'm not around to help? Do they have friends? Why does (blank) do that? Don't they know how hurtful that is? Who would say that about someone? What am I going to eat for lunch? They said they're okay, are they really okay? What if I'm killed in a car accident? What is someone breaks into my house? If I died in the next 5 minutes, who would have to clean my house, clean out my drawers and personal effects? Is there a heaven? Will I go to heave when I die? Are my kids proud of me? Do I do enough for them? What should I be doing? Why does (blank) hate me? Did I do something wrong? How can I fix it if I did? Can I even fix it? What am I going to wear today? WOW, could these pants get any tighter? I will never lose weight. I will never be a good mom. I'm a terrible friend. I'm so tired. Who died and made (blank) God of the universe? Oh wait, there is only one God—(blank) is so out of it. What planet are they on? Really? Seriously? You really think you know better than God? You wanna think about that? What's for dinner? I need a snack- no you don't, you need to quit eating. I am so tired. I wonder if she'll know she's beautiful? I wonder if he knows how much I love him? Do they know I would die for them? Does God exist? Does He really love me unconditionally? If unconditional love exists, why don't I see more of it in life? Am I capable of loving unconditionally? Why am I hungry all the time? That couch is so comfortable, but I can't sleep yet. How do I reach (blank)? I didn't share Jesus with anyone today. I'm such a failure.

If you were to just take your pen and start writing your thoughts- freely and honestly, what would your pen leave on the clean, white paper? What thoughts run through your head that cause you worry or fear or uncertainty?

Naming them is therapeutic. Calling worry like it is, is a good release. And when you spew it all out on paper or wherever, you begin to let it go. I mean, you could even go as far as to take the paper you wrote it on and burn it—send it up in flames (but not your abode, please! Safety first.) You could rip it into a million pieces and throw it away. You could buy a helium balloon, tie your list to it and send it off… SERIOUSLY! You need to let it all go.

I need to let it all go. God didn't create me to walk around carrying heavy book bags and totes and satchels full of worry!

DON'T BE A PACK MULE FOR WORRY!

Cause you know what that means, right?

As we journey along, we find ways daily to give our lives away. If we worry, we have the internal struggle of hanging onto our lives; lives that were not really ours to begin with. When you list out your worries, you will probably find they are pretty selfish and no wonder there is shame in that. This life isn't mine, these worries aren't mine. My God provides for me and my family. He provides above and beyond our needs and even desires. I live this life serving Jesus and serving others. The sooner I am able to dwell in that, the sooner the "worry lines" may disappear.

What are you carrying and why? Get rid of it!

Live free!

Lenten Giver-uppers

 A Lenten Reflection
Give up complaining——focus on gratitude.
Give up pessimism——become an optimist.
Give up harsh judgments——think kindly thoughts.
Give up worry——trust Divine Providence.
Give up discouragement——be full of hope.
Give up bitterness——turn to forgiveness.
Give up hatred——return good for evil.
Give up negativism——be positive.
Give up anger——be more patient.
Give up pettiness——become mature.
Give up gloom——enjoy the beauty that is all around you.
Give up jealousy——pray for trust.
Give up gossiping——control your tongue.
Give up sin——turn to virtue.
Give up giving up——hang in there!  


"After being baptized by John in the River Jordan, Jesus went off alone into the wilderness where he spent forty days asking himself the question of what it meant to be Jesus. During Lent, Christians are supposed to ask one way or another what it means to be themselves...to answer questions like this is to begin to hear something not only of who you are but of both what you are becoming and what you are failing to become. It can be pretty depressing business all in all, but if sackcloth and ashes are at the start of it, something like Easter may be at the end." Author unknown
"Lent is the time for trimming the soul and scrapping the sludge off a life turned slipshod. Lent is about taking stock of time, even religious time. Lent is about exercising the control that enables us to say no to ourselves so that when life turns hard of its own accord we have the stamina to yes to its twists and turns with faith and hope…. Lent is the time to make new efforts to be what we say we want to be. Something like Easter may be at the end."  The Rule of Benedict: Insight for the Ages, Sister Joan Chittister 


Spring= new life, new beginnings.  Nature has had quite a long respite; the leaves and grass brown, the animals hibernating, tucked warmly in a safe little hideaway, only venturing out when absolutely necessary.  Thankfully, we all know that spring follows winter.  In order to get to spring, however, we must endure a winter.  Oh winter is different depending on your geographical location and some find winter to be the cruelest of nature's seasons.   

Fall is by far my favorite season.  It's odd really when you think about how beautiful nature is when everything is sort of dying.  I hear it's kind of like the trees have their own internal clock.  They know that the weather is changing and that winter is coming.  They days get shorter and there is less light.  I guess the ol trees start preparing for winter by dropping their leaves.  After all, the leaves require a lot of water and if the tree is going to sustain its whole self, the leaves have to fall.  I guess they were created for a season, to live a beautiful life, to give life.  Of course, I guess that means they were created to fall- to die.  Depressing, but it all, in its Nature-ific way, has a purpose. 

Why I'm I writing all this? 

 In my own life, there is evidence of changing seasons.  When I think about Lent and this season of my life, I see the evidence of winter.  I see the grays, the browns, and the drab colorlessness of it all.  It's as if I've gone into hibernation- only coming out when absolutely necessary; a solemn and sorrowful season at times. 

The Lenten season can be a dark time- a winter-ish time.  You know the whole "it's always darkest before dawn"?  But awareness is growing within me that Lent should also be a time of sacrifice; a time when we withdraw ourselves from things that we are quite fond of or may even think we need.   

I'm sure the tree is very fond of his leaves, but if he is to survive the winter, he has to give up his leaves.   

So, this Lenten season, as I desire to know more about sacrifice and I desire to know Jesus more in the days leading up to his death and resurrection, I see that I must give up something if I'm going to survive. Of course, it makes no sense if you give them up without a reason.

I suppose the point of giving something up is to feel the sacrifice and I believe I will feel the sacrifice with my withdrawal from certain things.  In their place, I will focus on reading and writing more; spending time with my Father and my family; finding healthier foods to enjoy…  

I have full confidence that my soul will be awakened throughout the Lenten season as I focus on the tasks before me, leading me toward Easter.

I am so looking forward to a life renewing spring following a cold, broken winter.



 
©2010 Brokensidewalks- Melissa M. Wilson

Rehabilitated Misery

Tired.  Just plain tired.

Ever get messages from God, clearly marked messages from God?  Of course, you may not realize at first, but later the pieces start fitting together.  You have that "A HA" of a moment when you realize that two paths converged and in their connection, you got a message. 

My message from last week started as friends near and far sent out notes of kindness and love to my family and I.  At first, it felt all warm and fuzzy, "I do have some really good friends."  But then I started seeing how they kind words from all kinds of friends, some who don't even know each other, started to come together to make a lovely little piece of art. 

It all started with part of an encouraging note from a friend:

"I tell you now that your ministry is where your misery has been. That same spot that made you cry and moan is where you can bring honor and healing to those who are touched with the same pain."

So, I did a little research.  The quote comes from TD Jakes.  And I found more…

"God takes the broken and the wounded and rehabilitates them so that they can be clinicians of healing and instruments of life. You want to know what to do with your life. You are stuck on the steps in a job that is not fulfilling, and you are getting older and want to do something that matters to you. Fulfillment is not always a matter of income. It means a lot when you can lie down at night and know that what you did today made a difference in someone's life. I tell you now that your ministry is where your misery has been. That same spot that made you cry and moan is where you can bring honor and healing to those who are touched with the same pain. This is the spot where your compassion will skyrocket, and you can help the next generation of victims to get out of their beds and walk."

"The challenge is to reach a place of healing where you can discuss what was once a silent frustration. When you can vent it, that frustration turns to wisdom. It is at that point that you reach outside of yourself and give to others that ministry come homes to you."

"There comes a point when you have received enough help that you are no longer on the critical list. The moment you can get up, it is good to do so. You can gain strength by helping others ... You will never become a minister as long as you lie in the hospital bed yourself. Get up and help someone else survive what you endured. There are so many people who need the bed you are in. You must give it to them and become a part of the solution instead of the problem. That, within itself, is a therapy."

So, yes, I'm experiencing a bit of pain in my life.  And I'm tired.  I'm very tired.

But my ministry- my service- could very well be where my misery has been.   I could potentially take what I've learned and use it to help others.  Not really a new concept, but it's difficult especially when you look at the word MISERY. 

I guess I've got a big choice to make.   Am I going to use my misery properly or abuse it? 

Misery can take you to a very dark place filled with anger and bitterness and eventually, hatred.   If misused, misery could kill anything and everything that comes in contact with it.  You can forget about joy and love and peace… misery will murder them.  It won't be a quick death; it will be a slow, painful, torturous death. 

But if one is able to harness the right energy and power, misery could change.   Misery could be rehabilitated.   Misery could be refocused and repurposed. 

My misery has been repurposed for ministry.   
Interesting…

I Guess I Thought You'd Say Something

Get away from me
This isn't gonna be easy
But I don't need you
Believe me
You got a piece of me
But it's just a little piece of me
And I don't need anyone
And these days I feel like I'm fading away
Like sometimes when I hear myself on the radio
Have you seen me lately? Have you seen me lately? I was out on the radio starting to change
Somewhere out in America, it's starting to rain
Could you tell me the things you remember about me
And have you seen me lately? I remember me
And all the little things that make up a memory
Like she said she loved to watch me sleep
Like she said: "It's the breathing, it's the breathing in and out and in and..."
Have you seen me lately?
I was out on the radio starting to change
Somewhere out in America it's starting to rain
Could you tell me the things you remember about me
And have you seen me lately?
I guess I thought that someone would notice
I guess I thought somebody would say something If I was missing
Can't you see me?

Have You Seen Me Lately?
Counting Crows

You'd Shrug Your Shoulders Too

I remember the days of my adolescents when all I did was fight.   Fight over anything and everything.  And what a battle that was!

“Melissa Gail, you are not going out of this house dressed like that!”  Mom said. “Oh yeah?  Watch me.”

“You will not speak that way to your mom, young lady.”  Dad said. “I’ll speak any way I want.”

“You’re driving too fast.  Slow down!”  Mom said. “You think I drive too fast?  I learned it from you.”

“Don’t roll your eyes at me.”  Dad said.  “Okay,” accompanied by a double eye roll.

So I wasn’t a hellion of a child and I didn’t rebel too terribly bad, but boy did I fight.  Anything that seemed to be unjust, unequal, unfair—I’d fight it.  Sometimes, I’d fight just to fight, whether I really believed in it or not.

As the years progressed, flying by fast and furiously, I have changed a little bit.  I still possess the desire to fight for things I perceive to be unjust, unequal, or unfair.   The most noticeable differences are in that I pick my battles more cautiously and I consider my words and actions a wee bit longer than I used to.  Sure there are times I miscalculate or don’t think things through or practice little caution- but there are times when I really do SHUT UP and listen.

Knowing when to SHUT UP and knowing when to SPEAK UP can be very difficult. 

Oh the internal struggle between feeling that fight rising within you-- brewing a raging storm that could unleash a monstrosity of fury—and attempting to hold it back.   On the flip side, there are moments of peaceful ease of “this really isn’t worth it”. 

Sometimes Jesus flat out puts a muzzle on me.  And I’m learning to be okay with that—he can do that, he’s in charge.  He checks my emotions and agenda.  If I’m full of pride and selfishness, enter the muzzle. But then there are times I really feel He is telling me to speak--those times when I sense pure love, devoid of pride, selfishness, or agenda.  Times when he gently gives me the words to speak.

The ability to know when to SHUT UP or when to SPEAK UP is important.  Checking our motives, our heart, we can then proceed.  If I speak without love, I’m really going to screw things up!

The bottom line is that there is a battle raging all around.   Lately, I get so turned around and discombobulated.  I can’t tell when I’m supposed to fight and when I’m supposed to sit. 

First things first: talk to Jesus. 

“What do I do?”  I ask.

Sometimes, he replies.  Sometimes he shrugs his shoulders.  Not a “I dunno” shrug, but more like a “what do you think you should do?” shrug. 

Crazy, huh? 

I’ve been reading from 2 Chronicles 20:1-30.  It’s pretty cool… 

“Shaken, Jehoshaphat prayed”  (Poor guy.  His mom named him Jehoshaphat.)  Okay, back to the point. 

“Shaken, Jehoshaphat prayed”  In fact, all the people prayed.  All the people of Judah were there “attentive to God”.  WOW!

Okay, now I need to listen;  What does Jesus thinks?  Sometimes, his instructions are so clear!  (Other times, not so much.)

“Jahaziel was moved by the Spirit of God to speak from the midst of the congregation… He said, "Attention everyone—all of you from out of town, all you from Jerusalem, and you King Jehoshaphat—God's word: Don't be afraid; don't pay any mind to this vandal horde. This is God's war, not yours. Tomorrow you'll go after them; see, they're already on their way up the slopes of Ziz; you'll meet them at the end of the ravine near the wilderness of Jeruel. You won't have to lift a hand in this battle; just stand firm, Judah and Jerusalem, and watch God's saving work for you take shape. Don't be afraid, don't waver. March out boldly tomorrow—God is with you."

Now, when I’m really on my A game, I’m oozing with “thank you, thank you, thank you! Man, I love you!”  After all, this IS Jesus we’re talking to.  He’s God.  He doesn’t need me, he’s God.  But he loves talking to me AND he wants me to be a part of the story.

Crazy, huh?

“Then Jehoshaphat knelt down, bowing with his face to the ground. All Judah and Jerusalem did the same, worshiping God. The Levites (both Kohathites and Korahites) stood to their feet to praise God, the God of Israel; they praised at the top of their lungs!”

I mean, these guys are going into battle and they are praising God at the top of their lungs!  They are singing- worshiping, the whole nine yards.   I get ready for “battle” and singing isn’t at the top of my list. 

“They were up early in the morning, ready to march into the wilderness of Tekoa. As they were leaving, Jehoshaphat stood up and said, "Listen Judah and Jerusalem! Listen to what I have to say! Believe firmly in God, your God, and your lives will be firm! Believe in your prophets and you'll come out on top!"

 ²¹ After talking it over with the people, Jehoshaphat appointed a choir for God; dressed in holy robes, they were to march ahead of the troops, singing,
    Give thanks to God, His love never quits.”

This is where it gets a bit awkward, but stick with it.

As soon as they started shouting and praising, God set ambushes against the men of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir as they were attacking Judah, and they all ended up dead. The Ammonites and Moabites mistakenly attacked those from Mount Seir and massacred them. Then, further confused, they went at each other, and all ended up killed.

 ²⁴ As Judah came up over the rise, looking into the wilderness for the horde of barbarians, they looked on a killing field of dead bodies—not a living soul among them.

 ^25-26 When Jehoshaphat and his people came to carry off the plunder they found more loot than they could carry off—equipment, clothing, valuables. It took three days to cart it away! On the fourth day they came together at the Valley of Blessing (Beracah) and blessed God (that's how it got the name, Valley of Blessing).

 ^27-28 Jehoshaphat then led all the men of Judah and Jerusalem back to Jerusalem—an exuberant parade. God had given them joyful relief from their enemies! They entered Jerusalem and came to The Temple of God with all the instruments of the band playing.

 ^29-30 When the surrounding kingdoms got word that God had fought Israel's enemies, the fear of God descended on them. Jehoshaphat heard no more from them; as long as Jehoshaphat reigned, peace reigned.

Here is the almighty God waging a battle against those who are attacking Judah.  He tells them to be ready, but they won’t have to fight.  WOW!  And I really find it interesting that those that were attacking Judah were so confused, they started fighting with themselves.  

Now if you can get over the war and death and fast forward a smidgen, you will find yourself in the Valley of Blessings.

God took care of his people just like he said he would.  But first they sought him.  They invited him in and asked him to care for them.  They praised him!  They sang even as they prepared for battle.  And God, he stepped in and said “you won’t have to lift a hand. Don’t be afraid, don’t waver.  March out boldly.”

Sometimes, it just makes sense to stop and listen.  Sometimes there is a battle or a fight—but sometimes it may not be my battle to actually fight.  At least not like I think it is.

I mean, back in 2 Chronicles 7, God tells Solomon, “If I ever shut off the supply of rain from the skies or order the locusts to eat the crops or send a plague on my people, and my people, my God-defined people, respond by humbling themselves, praying, seeking my presence, and turning their backs on their wicked lives, I'll be there ready for you: I'll listen from heaven, forgive their sins, and restore their land to health.”’

Talk to God. Seek Him.  Thank Him.

Give up the pride, the selfishness, the motives.

The Valley of Blessings is on the other side… restoration, health, victory.  

But if we can’t keep our mouths shut and our hearts open, this may just be an impossible feat.  Well, impossible for us humans. I’m convinced that nothing is impossible for God. 

 

So fighting for what is just and fair isn’t a bad thing.  You’ve just got to be prepared for the battle.  Heart check.  Mind check.   SPEAKING UP isn’t a bad thing-  if everything is in check and according to The Plan.  SHUTTING UP isn’t a bad thing, either.  That may very well be The Plan, too.  

Just be sure that if it’s time to SPEAK UP, you don’t drone on so long that you can no longer hear the Father.  And make sure that if it’s a time to SHUT UP, you don’t sit quietly too long that you fall asleep.

So are you still wondering why Jesus would look at me and shrug his shoulders?  Oh if you could only hear some of our conversations… you'd shrug your shoulders too.


(disclaimer:  I am not theologian or a Bible scholar.  I am simply a person, reading the Bible and talking to Jesus.  I only write what I'm thinking.  Not factual- except for the excerpts from the B-I-B-L-E.  Otherwise, just me and my thoughts.  Take it or leave it.)

Haiti

We can all help!   

My family is giving $100.  What are you able to do?

Our challenge is a little less conversation and a LOT more action!!!!

http://www.redcross.org/

www.hopeinternational.org

http://www.hope-for-haiti.blogspot.com/

https://www.compassion.com/

http://www.ncm.org/news/press/catastrophic_earthquake_hits_haiti/

 You can text “HAITI” to 90999 to donate $10.00 to American Red Cross relief for Haiti right away. How easy is that?

There are countless ways to get involved. We are to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Let's get moving!

Rain

Crying, broken, scared, hurting… the storm is all I know. It’s all I can see.

Carry me. Love me. Comfort me.

"Then I said to you, "Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them.  The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes,  and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place."

3G Network

The commercials are insanely annoying and constant. Over and over again about the networks, the coverage, 3G, 4G, dropped calls, lost calls, “my map is bigger than your map”… annoying. (Of course, the amount of TV I watch is bothersome and killing what precious few brain cells I have left. UGH!)

 
While in the shower the other day- where I do all my best thinking- it occurred to me: I need my very own 3G network!

And there it was born... my very own 3G network. Obviously I’m behind the times, since we’re already to 4G networks, but whatever. (I’ll catch up eventually!)

So on January 1, 2010, I tapped into my own personal 3G network. It’s wicked awesome! The transfer and reception of data is amazing and there are no dropped calls. I may lose one every once in a while, but it will be found eventually. This network is flexible and resilient and has the capacity to move so much information it’s just insane! Not to mention, this network is reasonably priced. My 3G network is FREE.

This 3G network consists of the union of three amazing networks: Generosity, Gratitude and Grace. As individual networks, they work well. Even if you were to pair them and create a 2G network, any of the three paired up would work extremely well together. But when you put all three together? WATCH OUT!

• Generosity is robust and flavorful network of kindness, abundant and overflowing with kindness. No questions asked, this network gives and gives and gives some more!

• Gratitude offers thankfulness continuously, without interruption, despite the climate.

• Grace possesses an uncanny ability to politely endure the chaos, ensure comfort, and forgive all bad-tempered rudeness. Not to mention, the highest rated customer service in the world!
  

Okay, okay… so it isn’t a tangible network, but in my head, it exists. No, I’m not crazy! I just recognize that I need this 3G network to get me through 2010. One day at a time, each day as it comes, I need to be tuned in to Generosity, Gratitude, and Grace allowing their currents to run through me. I can see where I’ll have a much more successful life on this network. Period.

These 3G’s are mainly about others and I am convinced that using this network to love others will revolutionize the world! 

How could it not?

Seriously, if I am able to
• Showing ABUNDANT kindness to others— "be kind to one another"
• CONSISTENTLY and CONSTANTLY being thankful—thankful for the good, the bad, and the ugly
• Quietly ENDURE and find COMFORT amidst chaos makes me a gentler and more loving person. After all, they say that grace is getting what you absolutely don’t deserve. FORGIVENESS plays a major role in GRACE.

I want 2010 to be the best year EV-AH! I spent at least half of 2009 consumed with my own pain and heartache. In doing that, I was unavailable to others around me who needed me. Because I couldn’t see beyond myself, I missed out on life.

There is so much more to life and I’m on a mission!

I’m committed to:
• learn as much as can fit in my little brain
• do as much as possible for others
• love as big as big can be
• give and give and give and give some more

How's your network?