Where Does Hope Live?

An interesting thing happened the other day. It has been a very long time since I heard the phrase "you are valuable" from a colleague or mentor. Just the other day, someone told me that I am valuable and that I have a lot to offer. My little heart skipped a great big beat. There were no tears- I couldn't let them free at the time.


Wow! It's been so long since I heard that and even longer since I believed it. Who? Me? Not me. Surely you're not talking about me. See, somehow, I've found myself in a place where I have felt as if I have no value.


Why? Well, I figure there are a couple things going on here.


1.) Somewhere along the line, I've been tricked into believing the wrong voices. I've allowed myself to become distracted by humans. The human voices- the imperfect human shouts loudly. The imperfect human has a lot to say, but very little substance. But I listen. And you know what, some of the things those voices say just aren't good. The voices shout lies and I listen. BOO!



2.) Somewhere along the line, I allowed myself to forgot the fact that God loves me, period. He just loves me. The great big almighty creator loves me. What? (I think this makes sense due to the fact I've been so distracted by humans. Especially human who claim to be Christians, but their words and actions don't align.)



So I find Jesus leading me back to what I know to be the truth. He grabs me by the hand, and turns me around. He makes me look right in his eyes.


"I will not let you forget, Melissa. You know the truth and you've got to listen."


God sends Jesus to take me back to the same place. Over and over, he walks me back. He never gets irate with me. Annoyed possibly, but never angry.


He has his way of taking me back to the first time we met.


It was 1995 on a warm summer evening following a youth service at camp. I sat on a white cinder block wall, with a pastor, a friend. My pastor friend was telling me about Jesus. This wasn't my first rodeo. I was raised in the church, I had been to church over and over... sat through hundred of services, lessons, camps, and on and on. I was 17 for goodness sakes! I'd heard it all before. But on that particular night, I heard something different. I heard Jesus telling me he loves me. I heard him telling me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I heard him telling me that he had searched me and that he knew me. He even told me he knew me BEFORE I was born. He knew me when I was knit together in my mother’s womb. I mean, Jesus knew me. Everything about me. Everything I tried to hide-- the sin, the hurts, the scars, the wounds, the pain, the happiness, the silliness-- He knew it. And he loved me- big mess and all. That was the night I made the decision to give my life to Jesus. He met me on a cinder block wall in Nowheresville. He spoke through my pastor and friend. He got my attention.



He kept telling me over and over again how much he loved me. I kept saying "but what about this and what about that?"  He wouldn't hear it.  He didn't care about all the junk. He just needed me to know that he loved me for me. He always had and he always will.


My friend Jesus takes me back to 1995 just when I need it the most. He sits me on the cinder block wall -- he takes me back so I can remember what he has done in my life. So I can remember the journey—what led me to the cinder block wall and what led me to where I am today.



You know what he did this time? Oh Jesus is such an amazing friend! This time, he sat me beside my pastor and friend. The one from 1995. Jesus took me to a place where I could hear that familiar voice. Jesus not only took me back to remind me what he brought me from, he allowed me the chance to hear; literally hear with my ears Him speaking through my friend once again.


You may think that you can't hear God. You may think I'm crazy. But I promise you I have heard him. I have heard him and I know His voice. Now don’t misunderstand and you should know that I don't always listen to him. Sadly, I get distracted by human voices.


Jesus picked me up and carried me back to the place where he changed my life. As much as I’d like to, I can't stay there. I can't set up camp there and dwell forever. I have to journey back, so that I am able to journey forward. He has so beautifully reminded me of what he brought me from-- how he saved me. How he took all the ugliness and yuck and made it beautiful.


I'm nothing. I'm so small and insignificant. I don't know why the God of the universe values me, but he does. And he values you. God loves you, friend. He's always known you AND he has always loved you AND he will forever love you.


So if you're looking for hope, I can tell you where to find it.  Hope lives in my heart, in your heart, and in the hearts of those who follow Jesus.  Jesus is hope.  If you've lost your hope, you might want to talk to Jesus.  He can help you find it.



And to my pastor friend... thank you for taking me to Jesus. It's a beautiful thing to see how God works! He decided our paths should cross at exactly the time I needed it the most. You've shown me Jesus again, after all these years. Thank for keeping hope alive in so many ways.