She, Like A Vapor (orig. 3.21.11)

She, like a vapor

vanished into the atmosphere,

gone without a trace.

Her face we once knew well,

kind and gentle,

love in every detail.

Her laugh beckoned us,

with depth and warmth,

peaceful to its core.

Was she ever really there?

Running through the trees,

Quickly across the meadow,

The tall grass cutting like small razors.

Tripping over the rocks,

Hurling through the water,

Tossed back and forth between the hills.

Lost in the unfamiliar,

Caught like a rabbit in the snare,

Cries go unanswered.

Cold and wet,

Alone with a deep excruciating sadness,

Unaware of freedom,

Succumbed to the captivity.

Was she ever really there?

2011 © Melissa Meador Wilson

Invisible Sadness (orig. 2.15.11)

Pulling her down,

Far away from the ground,

Around and around,

Spinning out of control

Slipping in

Out

Never certain of how

Or why

She cannot be what she wants to be

But what shall she be today?

Up

Down

Back

Forth

In front

Behind

What shall she be

For you today?

Thrown aside

Tossed out-of-the-way

Feeling like waste

Did she ever exist?

Was she ever even really there?

Falling up

The sky may catch her,

Unerringly where it should

If only it could

Moving quietly

Over

Far away

Under

Invisible sadness

She will not be what she wants to be

But can she be her today?

Down

Up

Forth

Back

Behind

In front

What shall she be

For you today?

 

© 2011 Melissa Meador Wilson

On My Way

i've been trying to write for days now and i honestly have nothing.  it seems that i can't figure out how to piece together all the words flying around in my head.

so i'll start here.

 

i'm sorry.  it seems that, as of late, i've made many people angry with me. i cannot say or do anything right--so it seems.   i find it incredibly interesting how venomous the anger has been.  while i've been hurt by many people who i thought were friends, i can honestly say i hold no anger towards them.  we all fail.  we all mess up.

 

somewhere along the line, it seems some folks in my life had the idea that i thought i was something better than they were.  how sad that makes my heart!  if you truly know me, you know that would never be the case.   i recognize we are all flawed, we are all on the journey, we are all trying to figure this life out.

 

therefore, i'm giving up the fight.  i'm done.  white flag-- i surrender.

 

life is too short to be so hard on one another.  life is too short to get caught up in the legalism of our environments.   life is too short to be narrow minded- only focused on self.   i've seen how i've been stretched; how my eyes have been opened and my vision improved.  i've honed in on the target and i'm aiming at that.

 

i'm sad that i've lost friends.  it hurts my heart.  but at the same time, with that hurt, i wonder if they were ever truly friends to begin with?  i'm walking out of your life and you've not said a thing.  not one word.  so maybe you never really cared to begin with.  i just don't know.

 

i've had friends walk out of my life in the past.  some i have let go because i didn't know what else to do.  some i tried to hold onto, i tried to reach out to--but they didn't want me there.  i can't stay somewhere i'm not wanted.

 

so with my bags packed and a pocket full of my lessons learned-- i walk away.  i walk away from the old and with hopeful expectancy, look towards the new.   

 

   

stepping out

embracing the light

life in the breeze

on the wind

on the sea

what will i find

what will i do

can i ever really be seen

will you still love me

will you stand by me

one foot first

then the other

i know You're here

show me how to live

lift me up

give me wings

walk along this road with me

 

© 2010 Melissa Meador Wilson

 

 

 

 

Disappear

Along the open road
I am quietly walking
Intently listening for the melody
Fervently searching for the words
Could there be a song in my brokenness?
Left here on my own
Not a soul in sight
Longing just to hear some recognizable sound
Waiting to feel a familiar embrace
If there is a song from my brokenness, will I be able to sing it?
I do not know where this road is leading
All signs seem to have evaporated
Ahead in the distance
Someone stirs
Are they walking away?
Are they walking towards?
I just want to stop and sit
Stay here and disappear

 

 
©2010 Melissa Meador Wilson

 

 

Alone in the Waiting

Her cries could be heard echoing throughout the house, out the door, across the lawn, down and around the corner.


Alone. She was alone.

Brand new baby girl, all alone.

She cried. She screamed. Pleading with the world- someone hold me, someone love me…

Alone. She was alone.

Brand new baby girl, all alone.

In her newest days, there were no celebrations, no welcoming committee.

The familiar voices, the familiar sounds, her one constant companion was gone.

Alone. She was alone.

Brand new baby girl, all alone.

With her eyes opened wide, blurred visions- empty, focus she could not.

Her new hands and fingers touching the cloth within her reach- cold

The air was cold.

Alone. She was alone.

Brand new baby girl, all alone.

The unanswered cries stopped

Abruptly ended—no one was there to hear

There she lay all alone. Unable to move.

Alone. She was alone.

Brand new baby girl, all alone.

She couldn’t have known; how could she have known?

She was so fresh, so new.

Alone. She was alone.

Brand new baby girl, all alone.

Alone she slept. Alone she watched. Alone she dreamt. Alone she smiled. Alone she waited.

Alone she cried her silent cries.

Brand new baby girl, all alone.


© 2010 Melissa Meador Wilson