On My Way

i've been trying to write for days now and i honestly have nothing.  it seems that i can't figure out how to piece together all the words flying around in my head.

so i'll start here.

 

i'm sorry.  it seems that, as of late, i've made many people angry with me. i cannot say or do anything right--so it seems.   i find it incredibly interesting how venomous the anger has been.  while i've been hurt by many people who i thought were friends, i can honestly say i hold no anger towards them.  we all fail.  we all mess up.

 

somewhere along the line, it seems some folks in my life had the idea that i thought i was something better than they were.  how sad that makes my heart!  if you truly know me, you know that would never be the case.   i recognize we are all flawed, we are all on the journey, we are all trying to figure this life out.

 

therefore, i'm giving up the fight.  i'm done.  white flag-- i surrender.

 

life is too short to be so hard on one another.  life is too short to get caught up in the legalism of our environments.   life is too short to be narrow minded- only focused on self.   i've seen how i've been stretched; how my eyes have been opened and my vision improved.  i've honed in on the target and i'm aiming at that.

 

i'm sad that i've lost friends.  it hurts my heart.  but at the same time, with that hurt, i wonder if they were ever truly friends to begin with?  i'm walking out of your life and you've not said a thing.  not one word.  so maybe you never really cared to begin with.  i just don't know.

 

i've had friends walk out of my life in the past.  some i have let go because i didn't know what else to do.  some i tried to hold onto, i tried to reach out to--but they didn't want me there.  i can't stay somewhere i'm not wanted.

 

so with my bags packed and a pocket full of my lessons learned-- i walk away.  i walk away from the old and with hopeful expectancy, look towards the new.   

 

   

stepping out

embracing the light

life in the breeze

on the wind

on the sea

what will i find

what will i do

can i ever really be seen

will you still love me

will you stand by me

one foot first

then the other

i know You're here

show me how to live

lift me up

give me wings

walk along this road with me

 

© 2010 Melissa Meador Wilson