Traffic Jam!

It seems as of late, the story of my life aligns closely with traffic. I wake in the morning grumpy as I consider all that I must to during a very short 16-18 hours. What I dread most about getting ready for my day in the wee hours just before sunrise, is the traffic that I KNOW I will face. I don’t dread my daily shower or the ability to get “dressed up”. I don’t dread hair and makeup, I don’t even dread the struggle to wake up my 7 year old and aid him in getting ready for his day. The dark cloud the storms and rains above me is the awareness of TRAFFIC. My 16 mile commute takes 45 minutes to an hour most mornings. (Yes, I’m aware that it could be worse.) This has become something that I simply detest. I sit bumper to bumper- hesitation kills- don’t pull out in front of me- move out of my way- just go- traffic EVERY MORNING just to arrive at my destination beat up and worn out. My shoulders ache from the stress of 10 and 2 hand placement on the wheel and I’m constantly wondering when some freak driver is going to plow through with road rage and hit poor, innocent me! Of course, I sit for 8 hours in a crappy cube and really no longer enjoy my job only to leave defeated each day to face afternoon TRAFFIC. I try to listen to the radio, make phone calls… sing… anything to provide distraction, but it still leaves me tattered and worn when I arrive home—AN HOUR LATER FOR A 16 MILE COMMUTE!

Just yesterday, my TRAFFIC experience summed it up. It was 5:30pm when I left work and I knew what was coming up. The lines of cars were backed up 2 miles before my exit onto the “expressway” crap road. I thought, let’s take an alternate route. (Yeah, so did everybody else.) I sat, once more, bumper to bumper, light after light… growing more and more frustrated and hungry by the minute when it occurred to me, “I can turn off here, turn there, and arrive here, placing me on my side of town quicker than the route I’m on.” The one good decision I happened to make. Traffic was still heavy, but smoother when I took plan C. Mile-ing along as opposed to inching along, I crept closer to my goal. I called Jeff to let him know I was like 5 minutes away, going the speed limit, traffic easing… I came around a bend in the road and SLAM, BOOM, BANG…break lights, ambulance, fire truck=wreck.

THE FREAKING STORY OF MY LIFE! Cruising along, alright, okay, I can handle this and eeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrtttttttt: complete stop. I so can’t handle this! The good news is that yesterday, the road wasn’t completely blocked and as quickly as I came to a stop, I started off again.

Please, God, help me not to define my life by TRAFFIC. Help me to keep on trucking along even when it absolutely sucks. Teach me to find joy in TRAFFIC and peace along the road home. Dear God, please keep me safe from accidents, help me to help those who find themselves involved in accidents and PLEASE HELP ME TO FIND A WAY TO BE GRATEFUL FOR TRAFFIC!

Alright: Who Gave the Pregnant Lady the FLU?

Okay... I guess I should clarify that I'm not sure that I actually have the flu, I'm only speculating. I could be suffering from sheer exhaustion, but whose keeping track. Honestly, I had hoped that by this stage in my pregnancy, I would be enjoying it a bit more. Not one to give up hope, I'm still hanging on for the sunshine! :) Camping out by the bathroom is really no fun at all.

The BATHROOM RENOVATION:
Top it all off, we're down to one bathroom for us all to share. The master bath is undergoing some cosmetic surgery that seems to be taking quite a while. You'd think we had a hugantic space with a massive tub and shower and his and hers closets... oh wait... thats my next house! HA! We're talking the basics: shower, toilet, sink, floor, walls and ceiling. I'm beginning to think I should have picked up a Do-It-Yourself book and taken on the project myself! We've evacuate our room completely and I miss my bed! I miss my bathroom!!!!! Oh to have it all put back together...

Off for another round of sleep. It's really bad when you don't even feel like reading... :( Of course, it could be worse. I do remember a time in college where I really thought I was going to die as I was so sick. This isn't that bad, but I'm just going to whine about it a little more!

So Sensitive

"Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant." ~Jim Cole

It could be a movie, a commercial, a song, a glance from a stranger... it could be anything that sets my eyes to burning, tears welling, lip quivering and thus begins the flood.  Oh my, I'm a grown woman and I cry at the drop of a hat.  Of course, I'm a pregnant grown woman, and I think that must have something to do with it!

Random**Random**Random

1/26/08

If wishes and dreams would give me wings, I'd fly, fly, fly...

So I'm into my 18th week and feeling... tired.  Who would have guessed?Besides the fact that I don't sleep well at all, I'm having bizarre dreams. My favorite thus far was about a week ago when I dreamt that I was carrying twin boys. During some very odd procedure, the Dr. lifted off the top of my stomach as if it were a lid. I peered down at the two boys. They were looking up at me smiling and laughing. I asked them what they wanted to be called and the first one, in a very tiny voice, said "I want to be called Cyrus." The other, in another tiny voice, said "I want to be called Jonathan." Then the Dr. closed the lid and said I was almost ready to have the babies. Now to me, the oddest part of the dream were the name choices my babies mentioned. Those names aren't on my list, not even at the bottom of my list! Of course, I know there is only one baby, but I don't know the gender at this point. The other dreams are varied, some are weird, while others are not.

My news for this week is my awful haircut. I went from one length (shoulder) to a bob. It's not the style that I don't like, it was a really bad cut.We'll see if I can get it fixed!

Well, my boys are fighting in the back yard..back to the real world...

And the pregnant lady rants and raves...

1/24/08

So I have done this before. Really, I swear. But I don't remember it being like this!!!! My back aches, I feel like someone kicked me square on my tailbone, I'm EXHAUSTED, and my head hurts ALL THE TIME and I cannot sleep for the life of me!!!! The last time I had a baby, I was 25 years old... is that what makes the difference? I mean really, 5 years can't make that much difference!

I despise complaining all the time. It makes me feel like "eyeore" or as if I'm ungrateful. Trust me, I'm incredibly grateful... I am, I am, I am. BUT I HURT ALL OVER and I still have like 5 months to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A big fancy 4 door truck ran me off the road this morning on my way to work. I was livid! What on earth could be that important that you would run a pregnant lady off the road? I mean really. I was going to call the company and rip someone a new one, but lost the desire long about 10am when the hunger hit. All I could think about was food at that point. Then I figured the driver obviously didn't care and thankfully didn't kill me or injure me. I guess had that happened I would have really been mad! :)

So I'm not even half way there, I'm pretty miserable, and can't think straight due to the exhaustion. Maybe I'll just eat some more chocolate as that brightens my day, drink water (had to give up caffeine)and wallow in my misery for a bit longer--- all the while praying God allows me to find a bit of joy at this stage!

A

In the beginning, she was able to keep up with friends and family across the country. Slowly but surely, she forgot what she posted where and who she told what! Between Facebook,MySpace, and Yahoo, she couldn't stay organized.

The story of my life... so here I am again. A new place, a new page to try to update. So many people blog, it seems it must be an easy thing to do. I love to write, but I'm not sure how I feel about posting for all to see!

Same is now 7 and Jamie is on his way to 5. Baby Girl Wilson will arrive in late June and I have no idea what we will name her. We'll celebrate our 10 year anniversary in October-- shocking! Life is good despite the craziness.