“CANNON BALL!”

It was a beautiful afternoon. The air was light and cool. The sun was bright and warm. As I sat by the crystal clear water, I closed my eyes and inhaled as much of the mountain air as could fit in my lungs. Filled to capacity, I exhaled.

I imagined myself walking back up the trail, stopping, turning and running right back down the hill, through the trees and leaping off the dock, tucking in and shouting "cannon ball" as I catapulted myself into the water.

Honestly, I wanted to! I wanted so bad to jump in. I wanted to literally be washed by the water. But fear got the best of me. You see, the day before, I had kinda -sorta witnessed a friend falling in that very water. The coldness literally took his breath away! The sounds I heard as he couldn't even utter a word as the cold water stripped away even his ability to move, played through my head and I began making my decision not to cannon ball in. Of course, the fact that I had even witnessed earlier that day another friend falling into the "river" that lead to the body of water I now sat beside and how cold my feet and legs were as I attempted to save her from being swept down the roaring rapids… okay, that's not entirely true, but it's way more fun to tell it that way!

That water was cold! And as you can see, I talked myself out of the grandiose cannon ball. But I really wanted to! In my mind, I ran down that hill, through the trees and leapt off the dock, tucked and shouted "CANNON BALL" and was washed over completely by the crystal clear water.

Since the cannon ball was out, I laid down on the dock beside the still water. The warm sun on my face, the cool breeze swept over me. In the distance, I could hear the familiar sounds of my friends. Laughter and chatter, it was comforting. I smiled and reveled in the glory of the love all around me.

I was comfortable. I was relaxed for the first time in a very long time. I wasn't worried about the grizzly bears that could be stalking the forest behind me, or the snakes that were surely hidden under the canoe beside me, or the monster of the lake that surely was watching, ready to rise up, opening his enormous jaws and devour me along with the entire dock with one giant motion.

I was able to shut all the "what if's" and fears out. I started listening for Jesus. At any moment, he was going to walk up and sit down with me. The sounds of the water flowing against the rocks, the birds above me, and the insects around— that is all I heard. Patiently I waited.

As the wind gently moved around me, it carried a wave of peace that flowed over me. At the moment, I knew He was there. It's happened before; I recognized my friend was with me. Laying there on the dock, with the sun high above, I kept my eyes closed.

    "I knew you'd come," I whispered.

    "And I knew you'd be here," he replied.

    "What now?" is all I could muster.

A long pause.

    "Will you follow me?" He asked.

    "Yes. But where are we going?" I knew I shouldn't have asked and I was mad at myself for asking.

Another pause.

    "Will you follow me?" He asked again, His voice so calm and peaceful.

I really wanted to see Him. Like a child peeking during a game of hide'n'seek, I peeked through one squinted eye. I knew he was sitting on the bench, across the dock from me. He was within 2 feet of me… I just knew I'd see Him.

    "I want to follow you, but can't you tell me where we're going?" I sheepishly asked again.

Yet another pause.

And as the wind blew across my face and peace flooded my heart, I heard "Melissa, just follow me." With that, I knew this moment was simply for my answer.

Again, I pictured myself walking back up the trail, stopping, turning and running right back down the hill, through the trees and leaping off the dock , tucking in and shouting "cannon ball" as I catapulted myself into the water… and this time I pictured Him going with me.

    "Do you want me to cannon ball into this cold water? If you do, I'm all in. I'll do it! You know I will."

He smiled and laughed at me. Quietly, we sat together, enjoying the one another's company and enjoying the divine creation all around us.

As much as I wanted to, my fears ultimately kept me from doing the whole cannon ball thing. Plus, I didn't really think it would be the smartest move to make and no, I didn't get the sense that "that" was what He was telling me. But I got the point. He was asking me if I was willing to do that which seems crazy to me and to others. He wanted to know if I was all in, or just kinda-sorta in.

It would have been fitting if I had done the cannon ball thing and that would have been a moment only He and I would have understood. My friends who were just a few yards away would have thought I had completely lost my mind! (To be honest, I would have questioned my own sanity.)

What is He calling you to do? And perhaps the more important question isn't the "what" but the "will". Will you follow? Will you lay down the fears and let the questions go? We don't need the "who, what, when, where, why?" thing going on BEFORE we answer. Honestly, I kinda-sorta think we need to say "YES!" first, no questions asked.

    "C A N N O N B A L L !" {splash-gasp-gulp-burrrr}

Maybe I should go all William Wallace/Braveheart and shout… shout it with me… F R E E D O M! Because that is what the whole cannon ball thing represents to me.

True, pure, unfiltered, unabashed, unashamed, glorious, beautiful, life giving FREEDOM. And again I say…

    "C A N N O N B A L L !" {splash-gasp-gulp-burrrr}