Older and Wiser

My darling Samuel,

On the day that I found out you were growing inside, I was scared out of my mind. I was excited, but so afraid. I held the tiniest gift and you were my secret treasure. The first person to be with me 24/7 for 9 months straight. 

When the day came, nothing could have prepared me for those 20+ hours you'd take to make your entrance. But when I first held you, oh my boy, you changed me. I knew a love that could not be explained. Your presence, your life-- it answered so many questions I'd had about my own arrival into this world. You opened my eyes and heart. I never wanted to let you go, I wanted to hold you forever.  

Fast forward to today, your 13th birthday. A smile comes across my face and tears congregate in the corners I my eyes. I still want to hold you tight and never let go. When I hug you, I always inhale deeply- taking it all in. I'll always run my hands across your hair-- you're my little boy. So as your voice gets deeper, you grow taller than I, remember that I will always be your mama and I will forever adore you and love you. I'll always defend you and support you- I'll hug you even when I want to strangle you.  We are connected in a way that only we understand. 

Oh Sam,  I am so proud of you. My heart is full of love. You are a light in the world and I am so very fortunate to be called your mother. I adore you, son. I know I fail you so often, yet you love me anyway. You've always been so forgiving and even patient with me as we've learned together over the years how to communicate and do this parent/child relationship.

You truly are my sunshine. You make me so incredibly happy when the skies are grey. You will never, ever know how much I love you. Thank you for being MY sunshine.  Happiest Birthday, son. My amazing 13 year old! Happy, happy, happy birthday. I adore you, forever and always. 

All my Love,

Mama