Garden

I run through the darkness to the garden. I must find him.

Ahead in the distance, I hear someone weeping. Cautiously, I approach. I can see him through the shadows of the night. He lay on the ground, sobbing. I’m afraid to go any closer. My stomach turns and I can’t stand to look. His pain is palpable. His body is overcome by uncontrollable trembling. I watch. I listen. Covering my ears only muffles the resonance of his cries. The sorrow is excruciating.

He is speaking now and I recognize that it must be with the Father. He pleads. For a moment, I think he is unsure. “Father, take this cup from me,” I hear him plead. With calm finality, his head bows, I sense that his choice is made. Quietly he stands to his feet. He turns and looks my way and I see in his eyes that he has determined to do this. He will do this for me.

I run to him and fall at his feet—begging him, pleading with him as I grab a hold of him.

“Please no, don’t go! I cannot let you go- I will not let you do this for me. You cannot go!” His look is solemn and decided.   “Please don’t go!” I plead again.

My grip loosens and he takes a step back. I stand and we are face to face. But I cannot look in his eyes. As he stands before me, he places his hands on my arms. Through my tears, I try to look into his eyes. I see pain, I see fear, I see hurt…“Melissa, my love will give you life and freedom,” he says. “You would not fully understand it all if I do not go.”

He leans forward and tenderly kisses my forehead. I fall to my knees overcome with sorrow. As he turns to walk away, he glances back over his shoulder; I see tears in his eyes.

“Because I love you,” he said.

Oh how I want to learn about pure, unconditional sacrifice. How I want to be like Jesus… He knew Judas would betray him, he knew Peter would deny him, not once but three times. He knew people hated him simply because he was not what they wanted him to be. Yet he still made the decision to give his life so that we may live. Why? Because he loved them.

Dear God, I’m sorry I’m so afraid. If today or tomorrow means my death, please let this suffering not be in vain. I’m so sorry that I’ve let fear steal from me. Teach me to be like Jesus. Teach me how to sing songs from my heart that will bring joy to you. Teach me your favorite song, plant it in my heart—Father let my heart be after you. Only you.


Copyright © 2009 Melissa Meador Wilson





Garden by needtobreathe

Won't you take this cup from me?
because fear has stolen all my sleep.

If tomorrow means my death
pray you'll save their souls with it.

Chorus: "Let the songs I sing bring joy to you.
Let the words I say confess my love.
Let the notes I choose be your favorite tune.

Father let my heart be after you."

In this hour of doubt I see
who I am is not just me
so give me strength to die myself
so love can live to tell the tale.

Chorus: "Let the songs I sing bring joy to you.
Let the words I say confess my love.
Let the notes I choose be your favorite tune.

Father let my heart be after you."

Father let my heart be for you
For you
For you
For you

Chorus: "Let the songs I sing bring joy to you.
Let the words I say confess my love.
Let the notes I choose be your favorite tune.

Father let my heart be after you.